Where do babies come from? How and when to have the right conversations with your child about sex.

When children ask questions about sex, some parents dismiss them with responses like "You'll understand when you grow up," or tell fantastical tales about cabbage and storks. Psychologists oppose this attitude toward the issue. A child will inevitably seek information from another source, but the reliability of that source is uncertain.

Many are unsure whether to initiate a conversation about sex with their child or wait until the child asks. If they decide to discuss the topic, they often don’t know when to start. Experts recommend being prepared to begin the conversation without waiting for questions from the child, explains practical psychologist, coach, and parenting consultant, Anastasia Goldak, the author of the YouTube channel Mama Novogo Vremeni, in an exclusive comment to NUR.KZ:

Many children won't ask directly because they don't know how to approach the subject, says psychiatrist, psychologist, and sexologist Ketan Parmar, a mental health expert at ClinicSpots:

By starting the discussion, you demonstrate that this is a safe and normal topic to explore together, notes Hailey Spira-Bauer, the Chief Academic Officer of Fullmind, founder of Progressive School, and host of the podcast "Learning Cannot Wait."

Begin the conversation at an early age, for instance, by explaining the differences between boys and girls, and gradually develop the topic based on the child's interests and maturity, advises psychologist Anastasia Goldak:

Encourage your child to come to you with questions, no matter how trivial they may seem, suggests educator Hailey Spira-Bauer. For older children, suggest keeping a journal to write down their thoughts and questions, which can then be discussed together.

However, if adults feel shame or discomfort regarding these questions, it will inevitably transfer to the child, no matter how openly and correctly they attempt to engage in the conversation, warns Anastasia Goldak:

To prevent this, before starting the conversation, it's essential to not only prepare information but also to work through your own beliefs and emotions related to the topics of sex and sexuality.

Be ready for the child to ask where they come from. There's no need to feel embarrassed or afraid of this. On the contrary, you should feel happy that the child came to you with this question. It's an additional opportunity to establish a trusting relationship with them and to convey that they can seek information from you on any topic. Of course, you should satisfy their curiosity about what they are asking.

Where do babies come from? If this question is posed by a child aged 3-5, Briana Sevcik, a Master of Science, certified social work specialist, certified ethics consultant, and director of the trauma and family welfare department at The Last Resort Recovery Center, advises providing a simple answer without overwhelming them with unnecessary information: "Babies grow in their mommy's tummy."

One common mistake parents make is providing excessive information in response to a simple child’s question, points out psychologist Anastasia Goldak:

However, at another moment, the child might ask: "How do babies get into the womb?" Here, it's also important not to rush ahead and to give step-by-step explanations: "Babies come about when a cell from a man (sperm) meets a cell from a woman (egg)." If the child is interested, you can gradually expand on the topic, but do not overwhelm them with information, explains Anastasia Goldak.

You should not lie to your child. It's important to provide truthful answers to their questions naturally and calmly, rather than making it a big issue and feeling embarrassed about it, warns licensed sexologist and couples therapist Sophie Roos, a contributor to the Swedish media Passionerad:

How should you explain to a child what sex is? If the child asks this question, your response will depend on their age. To answer appropriately, first ask the child what they already know about it and build your explanation based on that.

For a child aged 3-5, explain that it's the love between mommy and daddy when they kiss and hug each other. As a result of their love, children are born. If it's an older child whom you've already introduced to the anatomy of boys and girls, you can explain how babies come about as a result of sex, advises Sophie Roos: the father inserts his penis into the mother's vagina and releases sperm, which swims to the woman's egg and fertilizes it.

When explaining, use the correct terms for body parts, such as "penis" and "vagina." Children should receive accurate and reliable information from you, notes expert Ketan Parmar.

Some parents try to introduce their child to the topic of their origins and sex through books. A book can be a great tool to start a conversation, but it cannot replace a live dialogue with parents, emphasizes Anastasia Goldak.

Honest and open communication between parents and children, along with accessible explanations about sex, will help them form a correct understanding of relationships and warn them about potential risks. Expert advice can help parents avoid mistakes when discussing sex with their children.